Dear Korea,

You’ve made me more proud to be American than I’ve ever felt in my entire life! I thought coming to Korea would make me more confused with my sense of identity, those parts of me from the South where I was raised. I was wrong. You showed me that my differences are things I should embrace, not hide.

Something recently happened to me that changed my perception about my inability to speak Korean. I discovered a group called Global Seoul Mates that offers Korean lessons and even has weekly events at their own language exchange cafe and pub, GSM Terrace. One Saturday I went to their cafe to attend what I thought was a free Korean class but I had only registered for their language exchange meetup. I looked around to find foreigners whose Korean was far more advanced than mine practicing with Koreans and my heart sank a bit in my chest knowing I wouldn’t be able to really join them. The girl taking orders at the front told me there was a language exchange event happening later in the afternoon that I could attend but my reaction out of fear and embarrassment caused me to respond, “well I don’t know ANY Korean so I don’t think it makes sense for me to attend, so I’m just going to leave.” So I did. I walked out down the stairs like a dog with its tail between its legs but before I got too far, I stopped. I had brought my personal study materials and figured I would just go to a different cafe, at least one where I didn’t just embarrass myself. Instead I turned back around and went back to that cafe and walked in to ask if I could just study by myself.

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I went upstairs with my Talk to Me in Korean textbooks and continued to self-study for about an hour. Around 3pm people started showing up for the language exchange event and within a few minutes I had four Koreans sitting next to me introducing themselves in English. They were all so excited to learn that I was American and could speak English because that’s what they had come to practice. It made me completely forget that just an hour before I “ran away” discouraged that I couldn’t speak Korean. Each person went around the table introducing themselves by their American names. I’ve met a lot of Koreans who have American names because its often easier for foreigners to pronounce. Mike introduced his girlfriend to the group who was very shy and didn’t have an American name, so Mike and his girlfriend actually asked me to give her an American name. I quickly panicked because a name is so personal and I didn’t want to pick something she didn’t like. I stalled and tried to make excuses of why it was better for her to pick a name but they were both insistent I choose. Scared of what her reaction might be, I said “Kate” and the biggest smile came across her face as she clapped with excitement to have an American name. Mike even liked it too. In fact when two new people joined our group she even introduced herself as Kate. I just smiled.

We talked about the hard working Korean culture and how that played a role in people’s lives. I learned the Korean government made a rule that if a company worked an employee over 52 hours, which I still think is way too much, then the company would be penalized. Many people in more senior positions work late hours and those who report into them will actually not leave until after their boss goes home. Kate had recently quit because her boss never went home so she was working late every night. I asked why people work so much and the answer was of course, money. They told me that the working culture is still a very sensitive topic that a lot of Koreans don’t like to discuss. Mike asked me if I had any other questions about Korean culture that may be different from the U.S.

So I brought up transgender and gay rights because I knew the cultural views would be very different and was curious to hear their point of view. Jenna spoke up quickly to tell me that she was happy to have the discussion because she wasn’t able to have those kinds of conversations with a lot of her friends. It was incredibly inspiring to be with a group of people in a different country from a different culture who had the same views and beliefs as me about a sensitive topic. Overall we agreed that people have the right to believe what they want but imposing their beliefs on others is unnecessary. We changed the subject shortly after to lift our spirits again but in that moment of sharing perspectives on a culturally sensitive topic, it felt good to find common ground.